Pre-exam Syndrome

Negative thoughts thriving in my tiny head.

Cant help but feel scared.

*pets my head*

Vertically Challenged

Just so you know, my height is about 152cm. That's very short for an asian, needless to say caucasian.

Ppl always ask me, 'so you form 3 ah?'
Me, "no, college already.'"
Ppl, "wah...why u so small size one?"

From now on, please don't use the term short/small sized or other pasar terms. Use Petite.
Joanna Leong Shu Ying is PETITE.
What's wrong with being short? cannot find husband? cannot be smart? cannot drive car? But i did passed my driving without failing and without bribing.

At least i'm not a dwarf rite?
I just have insufficient growth hormones (GH). But sufficient to not make me a dwarf.

Ppl also say "if u're just a little bit taller, u'll be drop dead gorgeous and all the boys will come chasing after you!"
Hmm...cannot be drop dead gorgeous, don't wanna kill ppl. it's a sin.

i am proud to be PETITE.

Enough said.

English 101

I have been wondering about this for a very looooooooooong time.

Is this sentence correct ah?

"Hey gal!! Thanks for the add!!"

Thanks for the add?? O-O
Shouldn't it be "Thanks for adding me gal!"
OR "Hey, thanks for befriending me!!"

"thanks for the add!!"
Seen this in facebook many many times, never fails to make me ponder.

What's ADD?
address to your house? addition in the family? HUH?!

I'm not trying to boast or show off. Just wanna clear my doubts.
My english is very cha ok. That's why i speak broken mangrish. Not only my english is broken, but mangrish too.
Anyway, thanks for telling me =). You're a great friend. awwwwww. right.

Got back my bio proposal. Suprised and happy. weeee.
I like doing proposals. and i love "the proposal".
and i would also like to experience ppl proposing to me. and rejecting it.
Until i can feel his/her sincerity then only i'll accept him/her.
Haha. No lar. I only accept a 'he'. Not bisexual. Although this might change, my bisexual genes are not expressed yet. No selection factor. YET.

*scares everybody away* *yerrrrr shu ying is a lesbian!!!* *throw eggs*

I am cold blooded, so so sorry

Most ppl, including my family, fail to actually realise that i am actually not cold blooded bitch.

I have what you call it? FEELINGS.

I do care. I do show compassion. I do appreciate. I do love you. I am contented of my life and i don't ask for more. Since when do you hear me asking for something? I always put you first and you don't seem to know or notice. Because you're too busy.

All the little things i do, you don't seem to NOTICE.
For example, i try to spend as minimal as I can because i know that every penny you earned comes from hardwork. I applied for a job to earn my own expenses and to how does it feel like to work outside in the corporate world.

In case you havent' noticed? I do ask about how you are doing when you are overseas. Sometimes i do not like to go out with my friends because i know mummy and u'll be worried sick about me when i come home late and i do not want u to be worried. I make it to every family outing to bond with you. I always try to start a conversation but it always fails to interest you. I tried to tolerate with my brother as you have told me to. I study hard so that i don't embarass you. I study hard to please you. I study hard to get your attention. I like to be praised too as you can see. I need encouragement too. My brother is not the only smart fella at home ok?

I have been longing for a good phone as you can see. But still, i do not ask from you. And you promised to get me one ASAP. but u forgot lar. I KNOW.

Oh my god, sound like some kid. I'm sorry shermann, i'm can be this immature.

From now on, I do not care and shall not bother.

I'm very sick of trying to bridge the gap between us, but still get blamed for not doing anything to improve our relationship, blamed for taking everything for granted. Being misunderstood all the time, accusing me for not doing my responsibility. I am sick of you ignoring me when i ask how are you. Sometimes i just give up.

I DON'T LIKE TO BE IGNORED.

Forgive me for not being a talkative bitch who tells you every single thing that happens in college like my dear cousin.
Forgive me for being anti-social because i don't know how to express myself.
Forgive me for not living up to YOUR standards.
Forgive me for not wanting to be a doctor to make you proud.
Forgive me for being hardworking to actually study hard to make you proud and eventually neglected you. Maybe i should study BESIDE you instead?
Forgive me for not liking to play the piano anymore which means wasting your money.
Forgive me for being short and not being as tall as you. I'm sorry, the short genes chose me.
Forgive me for not being super talented.
Forgive me for being only normal.
Forgive me for not making u a father's day card because i am not creative. Besides, where are the ones i made for you last time? in the inner corners of your cupboards or in the landfill?
Forgive me for not being able to serenade you with fancy poems.
Forgive me for not being your favourite child.
Forgive me for not doing any housework.
Forgive me for giving you a heart attack when you teach me how to drive. I am sorry, i am this dumb. I only know books. I am born to be a nerd.
Forgive me for being a burden to you. You can just kill me.
Forgive me for being so negative because i'm like that.
Forgive me for blaming you now.

And most of all,

Forgive me for being a useless DAUGHTER.

I am sorry i am a disgrace to the family.

If only i can survive on my own.
If only i do not have to depend on you. So sorry, i'm so dumb that i can't earn a scholarship to ease your burden.
If only....

You have misunderstood me today. And i am not going to clarify further. I am not going to apologise. Be that way! I don't need your butterfly kisses.

Completely moodless to study for Physics. Screw it. Oh and sorry! I fail to get A20. Apparently, not smart enough.

Maybe i should privatise my blog. SOME PPL will just say i'm trying to ATTRACT ATTENTION. RIGHT. That is so true and is exactly what i'm doing! Attention oh attention, i need you. COME TO MAMA! I WANNA BE POPULAR!

Breakdown

I am crying, i have no one to confide in.

The pressure is so overwhelming

I tried working harder and harder

But i still cannot cope

i cant cope

i cant cope

i cant cope

i am very tired

i have no time to rest

i need you

you are not there

you are never there

i have failed

What's my biggest weakness

According to facebook:

You are intelligent and you think about life and philosophy and WHY to everything. A lot. But you are missing passion. You like to do creative things, but they often lack the soul behind it. You can make people laugh and beat your friends in an IQ test, but when it comes to living life to the fullest you are lost, even though you think you aren't. You think you are right, but underneath of it all you are confused. You are only guided by your mind which often leads you astray, but your soul rarely reflects in your life. You like to work hard for things and you think you deserve them, but you sometimes wonder why you are where you are. You need direction for your persistent and determined personality, but you aren't sure where to get it.



Cant deny it.

I need directions.

The Proposal

I had fun today. Just want to say thank you to smith and our beloved future lawyer for taking me out just to cheer me up. Well i'm much better now.

Had a great laugh. The silly chanting song is still repeating itself in my head. haha.

"The windows, the windows,
the walls, the walls,
the sweat drippin down my balls,
all those bitches crawl....."

HAHA! great movie, great movie.

Once again, thanks to smith for fetching me to and fro.

I seriously need a car. My 'P' is still in my drawer. brand new.