Sometimes i just want to sleep and never wake up

Things didnt really go my way this week. Everything sucked. From presentations, practicals, studies, relationships (every 'ship' there is lar). In other words, it's a very rough week. And it's only tuesday.

Bio presentation yesterday, which i didnt really put in my effort, i feel a little guilty now. just reading and reading and explaining abit. Partly because, RAINFOREST IS VERY BORING. yeah..all i see was green, more green, and a little brown...and more green. And white patches of lichen. Yeah. that practically sums up what i understand about rainforest. And and and and, now i know wombats eat trees.

Physics practical today, i thought everything went well and all. My values seemed OK to me. It was increasing. but when i plotted the graph, with tangent. it's SHIT. OH MAMA! Totally, ugly gradient! How to alter the readings? i don't like to cheat. And i feel utterly bad if i do so. Because i believe that we should be evaluated based on our abilities. And cheating is just so so so so so wrong. So i don't know what to do about it. Think about it later. Should i go against my conscience?

Yeah, everyone knows that my practical skills are very bad. I'm just a bookworm, u should be feeling happy now! Maybe i should do more practical stuff like cooking and cleaning the house. *yes mum yes mum...later lar....*

AND, SILICATES IS VERY DIFFICULT. SiO2, Si4O10 6-............WHAT?????....aiya dunno lar... cant remember. Don't correct me because i know i'm wrong.

MORE tests next week. Started studying a little.

I cant wait for mid semester 2 break lar seriously. But that week is gonna be fully used to study. Trials coming mah. Kiasu mah. Need to apply uni mah.

Speaking of trials, i have no idea how am i gonna wake up at 5 am. and make my brain function at 7 am. Perhaps i need to drink coffee during exam.

Uni applications, still yet to be done. I think no uni wants me. People kept telling me, i should do this this this. It really upsets me, and makes me very worried. Sigh, i just want to do things on my pace.

Times that i enjoy the most nowadays, is break time and also going home time. How retarded is that. I am so lost, as if theres no more directions and i have no more momentum. If you are observant enough, u can see that this post is very unorganised, similar to my thoughts.

I found out that i cannot think rationally, logically, and think in an organised manner anymore. Everything is done in a hurry, without thinking about the consequences. I don't know what i'm doing. I also found out that i like to run away from that problem, instead of thinking a way to solve it.

I am so sorry if i made YOU angry, and maybe we should not talk to each other that often. *doubt that u ever read my blog one lar, but anyway, who cares*.

I have to admit this, college can really change a person. YOU are right. I've gone from bad to worse. From childish to irrational. From stupid to retarded.

At this point, i am very uncertain about my dreams, my ambitions. Are they possible? Am i trying too hard? Am i suitable for this?

If i can read your mind, u must be thinking: 'why ah? this leong shu ying so lousy one ah, if she cant even cope with college life, how is she gonna survive in the future ah?'

Yeah, i'm also thinking about how am i gonna survive in the future. Maybe i cant? Afterall, "Not all organisms survive to reproduce."

if only someone can show me a little bit of kindness, some sort of reassurance or encouragement and perhaps put up with my ultimate bitchiness, that would be very nice of you and will be much appreciated.

Sometimes, i just want to sleep, and never wake up.

There you go, a whiny post. YOU'RE WELCOME =)!

PS. If you want to condemn about my grammar or english or whatsoever. Go ahead and bitch about it if it makes u feel happier and superior.

NAP TIME!