chemistry

forgot to bring thumbdrive...so this is where i save all my source =)

http://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/enwiki/622292

http://www.aquanic.org/publicat/usda_rac/efs/srac/460fs.pdf

http://web.lemoyne.edu/~giunta/chm151L/alum.html {formation of alum}

http://chemicalland21.com/industrialchem/inorganic/ALUMINUM%20POTASSIUM%20SULFATE.htm

http://paws.wcu.edu/jsnover/lab10.pdf {formation of alum}

http://www.water-treatment-chemical.com/products.htm

http://www.chemistrydaily.com/chemistry/Alum {not so good}


http://encyclopedia.stateuniversity.com/pages/1181/alum.html

looooong day

Woo. Stayed back in college until 6pm. First time.
Was in the computer lab, researching. and researching.
What is the outcome??

2 lousy articles. Alum is a hard topic ok. Dun cakap banyak.

But good enough lar. Better than nothing. Hope teacher doesnt reject my articles.

Next up, SAM FIESTA...cant wait... But the problem is no transport home, and i havent told my mum. Uh oh. :O

where have you been?

Where are u? Do u know that i miss you so much?

Guess not.

why do u have to treat me like this. Again and again. And again.

Stop It.

Please.

i am very unhappy

All of the sudden, i dunno what are my goals in life. Seems like i dont have a life in fact. I am a boring person. Whatever comes out from my mouth is always about studies. And it's not like im very good at it. Im starting to lose out to everybody. Everyday seems very meaningless, it's like i have nothing to look foward to.

I have always been a negative person. Nothing will change me, im just too stubborn. I know that. i wont blame someone else if they dont like me. Well, nobody likes me. nobody understands me. I dont have anybody to talk to. I dunno who to open up to. I dont even know how other ppl look at me. Or think about me. I have nothing.

I feel so lost. Can somebody show me the way? im stuck in the middle of nowhere, dunno what to do. Lord, pls help me.

what to choose?

Back from medical/dentistry talk, flooded with humans. Despite being the most expensive and tough course, STILL, a lot of ppl want to be a doctor/dentist. Ironic.

i had to sit on the steps. Basically, the placement centre just briefed us on what to do, what to expect, how to apply, deadlines, so on and so forth. The application is a very long process, and what suprises me is that, dentistry application is far more complicated than medicine. The opposite of what i thought.

After the session, everybody rushed to grab the application forms, like barbarians. But not me lar of course, im very well-mannered and i queue up. What's the hurry?! there's plenty more application forms in the placement centre. =_= Malaysians...

Parents kept asking me what i want to be. Very annoying question.
The answer is....I AM NOT SURE!

Back to assignments...killing me softly

i need a break

itz already 1.33am and i should be sleeping. Just read CLEO magazine (just found out that the articles there are VERY INTERESTING!!) although i have a pile of work waiting for me to complete. I couldnt do it lar...itz just too tiring, so stressful and brain demanding. I cannot think anymore! OMG have i become stupid or what?

Ppl will tell me to sleep. Well, the problem is...I CANNOT FALL ASLEEP! GET IT?!
CANNOT FALL ASLEEP...not that I DUN WANT TO SLEEP! i can read CLEO for the whole night and go to college. Sure doze off...cannot lar.. will not be able to catch up later. Im a slow learner ok.

TTC is killing the crap out of me. So many hwks to mark, so many notes to prepare. ENDLESS! Being a teacher is not easy u know? even if u just teach for one day. so PLS RESPECT UR TEACHERS/TUTORS/LECTURERS! and i mean it lor...dun take me lightly.

Updated my planner. Basically itz just full of words, can hardly find a blank column. Shit also no time. do manicure also no time. play with dog also no time. argh...can die
so many things i want to do, i just dun have the time.

New assignments, new projects, tests....flooding in like nobody's business. AND ALSO, undang test this saturday, barely touched the book. 'very easy one lar'...IF I FAIL...malu lar...SO CONCLUSION? need to study lor..im not god mah...normal human only.

just a very random post...no sentence structure at all...HAHAAHAHA
my blog is so boring...oh well...W H A T E V E R! *does that face*

just to pour my feelings out.

It was math test today. As i've expected, i will fail or do badly, in the end...i really done badly in that paper. Ok lar, i can say i didnt have confidence in myself. 'If u think u cant do it that means u cant do it...whatever lar. It wasn't that hard at all. It was just pure carelessness - one of my weakness that i wanted to change for a long time...but failed.

There were 2 questions basically, 1 modelling, 1 functions. It wasnt hard as i've said. My hands were trembling relentlessly when i was doing the paper. Scary. My handwriting was very crooked, but itz no big deal, teahcer's words are like that too. 1st question was quite tricky lar, but i didnt fall into the trap. im not that dumb. With a glimpe of hope, i keyed in the data into my calculator. Happily, i had the answer already in my mind. I knew i was gonna score doubtlessly.

To my horror, the calculator reads ERROR. I tried again and agian..and again. Still ERROR. Omg, i started to panic. I know the answer is exponential graph...IM 1000000% sure! but i cant plot the graph! i checked my readings..there were all correct! sigh...i had no choice but to plot linear graph. knowing that i will be wrong definately. I was running out of time mind u. Writing the wrong answers knowing that they will be wrong, is really....... i dunno how to say. Stupid? yeah..i guess so. BUT I HAD NO CHOICE OK!

So i proceeded to the 2nd question. It was quite easy.. i knew what to do. BUT..again..i was careless lor. I derived the wrong equation. Had to redo. ok...then i rushed through the whole question. Then i plotted the graph, omg..why so weird one. So i checked again. OMG, wrong equation!!! then i redo again...then only i get the correct answer which i think is correct lar. Can u believe it, i've redone a question 3 times. THE WHOLE QUESTION, not part of it only.

Then itz time. Had to hand in the paper already lar..knowing that my 1st question is defintaely gonna be wrong. THE WHOLE QUESTION lar...coz my basic answer is already wrong. Confirmed, i wont do good in this paper.

Went home, feeling utterly sad. But there is nothing i can do. No one to turn to, the only person i always confide in is no longer that person he/she used to be anymore. So yeah, on my own. I know this is hard for me, because im not a strong person, i know that. I always know that and i know i have to change.

Im a person who likes to be praised/complimented/be told that im the best. This is how i get my confidence. But that is bullshit. Nobody will do that for u all the time. i repeat, NOBODY. even the closest person on earth. I really feel like telling ppl that i've done badly, so that they will assure me that it wont be that bad/ comfort me somehow. But i also know that itz very irritating when ppl do that to u. I myself do not like to comfort other ppl. Yeah, im very mean.

Even if i tell ppl i've done badly in tests, they will say : 'Come on, you're leong shu ying, sap sap sui for u' , 'haiyor...u wont be that bad lar...u wont fail lar.' 'haiyor if u fail, then i mai die liao?!'
Nobody understands how i feel. Im kiasu i admit. I DO NOT LIKE TO LOSE. But it has come to the extend that i have to admit that im not that good, im not the best. Itz a totally different environment and i cant seem to fit in. This is very hrad. but i will do my best. I will live my life to the fullest. i do not want to compare anymore, itz very sickening and tiring.

Speaking of comparing. Doing A levels doesnt mean u're smart ok. DO NOT BULLSHIT ME WITH HOW MANY TESTS U HAVE or U HAVE MORE TESTS THAN ME. In the end, ur tests do not have any weightage to ur final marks. so shut the fuck up. U'RE DIFF FROM ME.

Physics tomorrow, i have no more momentum to keep going on. But i still have to.
feel so much better now, itz good to blog i realised.